The New Normal

One of the biggest challenges I am facing during my double whammy of chemo and radiation therapy is my "new normal." Less than three months ago, I was healthy, active and busy with a to-do list a mile long. I got up at 5:30 each morning, had my morning coffee, read for an hour, showered, worked a full day, hiked if there was daylight, had dinner, watched TV or read and hit the pillow about 9:30 or 10:00.

My new normal is quite different. This second week post-chemo, I've been much slower to recover, especially from the nausea and fatigue. I need a couple of power naps during the day, and last night I went to bed at 8:30! Nothing sounds good to me - even my morning cup of coffee has been sacrificed because it only upsets my stomach. I was warned by the nurses to avoid my favorite foods while nauseous because my brain would trick me into thinking I don't like them any more. I worry because I have been consistently told that this regiment of treatment doesn't really follow a weekly "cycle" of ups and downs, but rather it is like a steep climb. Each week will get harder because of the cumulative effect. I wonder how someone older or less healthy than me can tolerate this!

Once again, the universe sent me a message just in time. I subscribe to a number of daily quotes and reflections, and late yesterday, this arrived in my in box: "He is able who thinks he is able." - Confucius

And so I will continue to place a tremendous amount of energy into believing that I am up to this challenge and that the end result of possibly being "cured" is just reward for this struggle.